My Fault in Raising My First Child

Good evening peeps.
It's actually 1 am now but I'm still awake so yeah.

Well having our first child, honestly I wasn't ready like, at all. I read a couple things but setakat tu je. That's all. Not that I wasn't excited but I was too occupied within life problems at that time that I don't care much about my pregnancy.

So when my son was born, I was just going with the flow. The first three months after pantang, I was busy working. That was my first mistake (for me). I gave him formulated milk but he just spit everything out. He rejected them all except the soya kind of milk. Tu pun last2 dia tak berapa nak. He will take it only when he's very hungry. Kesian sangattttt! Until i thought, what the heck. Apa aku kejarkan sangat sampai anak sendiri aku abaikan? So I quit. Fikirr banyak kali jugak la sebab masa tu I was on my way of becoming a supervisor at that place.

After that memang quite struggle but الحَمْد لله, we made it. Syukur.

Then my mom suruh ajar my son Dari kecik. Yknow, banyak cakap dengan dia, show and tell him Petronas, Shell, Caltex etc . Talk to him in English, teach him the name of all cars - which I thought was impossible he'll memorise all that. Second mistake. Babies are very smart you know.

I talked to him only when we're alone together. I expected he would understand someday, he'd learn by himself one day, and he'll understand just by listening to people talking around him. Silly mommy.

So I guess, my son was having what we call now as speech delay. He talked, a lot, but only God knew what he was trying to tell us. It hit me when we were eating at my in law's house, then Hakeem came to me asking to eat from the table. There were quite a number of food that day, and you know what I did back then? I asked my son back, "Nak apa. Ni? Ni? Ke ni?" So my son only knew the word 'Ni' all these while.

But tak sedar lagi ok! When my in law bagitau, "Sebut la nama makanan tu kat dia, baru dia belajar... Nak apa? Roti? Keropok? Nasi?"
Then baru I sedar. Terus from that day, I talked to him all the time. In English, mostly. Tunjuk je stesen minyak even when he's not looking. Mentioned eveything. Teach him eveything. He started improving and الحَمْد لله he can speak very well now. Ada la pelat budak2 and sometimes still tak paham but I personally think he's very good. Kahkah puji anak sendiri.

I learnt a lot from Hakeem. I am pretty sure I'm not a good mother, but I am trying my best to be one. If you're reading this someday, hon, I love you with all my heart. :)


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